Ian Lurie // Jun 27 2012
I’m a generous guy. So, when I see someone acting like a complete scumbag, I assume they’re ignorant, instead. For example, if you take an article I wrote in 2005 and put it up for sale, without my permission, on a third-party site, like this:
…I take the high road: You’re not a dishonest pile of oyster snot, or a lazy, incompetent diaper-wipe.
No. I would never imply that.
You’re just… a little slow. Dense. Dumb. Debilitated. IQ-deprived. You deserve my sympathy, not my homicidal rage. Because somehow, you don’t understand one of the simplest concepts: Copyright.
So, Abihud or whatever your name is, this one’s for you, babe:
Here’s the definition, in surprisingly clear English, straight from the US Copyright Office.
Copyright is a form of protection grounded in the U.S. Constitution and granted by law for original works of authorship fixed in a tangible medium of expression. Copyright covers both published and unpublished works.
I’m sure you’ve never seen it before. You just decided to start selling my stuff without my permission, ‘cause that’s how you roll. Otherwise, I might be tempted to call you a festering pusbag. But I won’t.
Most countries support it through international treaty and general good sense. You can get a nice list of all the countries that support US Copyright in this nice copyright PDF that the Copyright Office puts out.
By the way, I don’t recommend putting that circular up for sale in your store. I’m sure you’d never do that, but if you did, the US government can really be prickly. They won’t just call you a reaking slimepot of unrolled newt intestines—which I’d never do—they’ll sue you.
If I publish something online, it’s protected by copyright. In fact, it’s protected “the moment it is created and fixed in a tangible form that it is perceptible either directly or with the aid of a machine or device”. In other words, if I record the sound of me warbling tunelessly while in the shower, then release it on the internet myself, you can’t reproduce and sell it.
There’s no way, in your current, brain-damaged state, that you’d know this. I mean, if you did, that’d make you lower than slime-covered leech guano: A creature totally unwilling to earn their own way.
And there’s no way that’s the case.
Copyright ends 70 years after the author (that’s me) dies.
And I promise, I will hang on long enough to haunt you and your descendants. If I should get run over by a car ferry on my bike ride home today, feel free to begin selling this article in June of 2082. That’s on the Gregorian Calendar, you huggable, slow-witted marketer.
You have a lot of options:
The article this lovable dunderhead stole from me is available for free on this blog. Download it right here.
Another innocent mistake, I’m sure.
Ian Lurie is founder and CEO of Portent Inc., an internet marketing agency that has provided internet marketing, including PPC, SEO, social and analytics services, since 1995. Read More