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Ian Lurie Oct 7 2009

Update: Submissions are now closed. I’ll be announcing the winners on October 21st (or 22nd). Thanks everyone who submitted. I am, by the way, still accepting bribes.

Something’s wrong with your web site. Let me restate that: Something’s wrong with your web site. There’s always room to improve your search rankings, copy, design, usability or marketing campaign.
You can get advice from your cousin’s brother’s sister’s friend who once worked at a company where she got to build the corporate site using Microsoft Word.
Or, you can talk to an expert. But experts cost money, and you don’t have a lot of money these days (hell, who does?), so you go the Microsoft Word route. But when you’re done, you feel like you spent hours on a treadmill: You’re sweaty, but you didn’t get anywhere.
Well, here’s your shot at a bit of free consulting, 1-on-1 via phone, with an expert: Me!

According to Malcom Gladwell in Outliers, 10,000 hours in a given subject is a critical step to expert status. I ran the numbers, and I’ve put in close to 30,000 hours into my Internet marketing career. That proves two things: I have no hobbies; and I have a smidge of expertise as an Internet marketer. Don’t you think?

The deal

I’ve launched a new Internet marketing consulting service called 10Things.
For $500 I:

  • Review your site;
  • Write a report listing 10 things I feel will improve the site’s SEO performance, sales/lead generation or anything else that can improve your Internet marketing campaign;
  • and then spend an hour on the phone with you reviewing my findings.

To kick off the service, I’m offering 3 of these consults for free. Here’s how you can win one:

  1. Write 1 paragraph about why I should review your site. Hilarity is welcome. Embarrassing photos are not.
  2. Post that paragraph on your own site or blog or leave it as a comment, below.
  3. If you post it to your own web site or blog, be sure to e-mail me at ian AT portent DOT com.
  4. Wait patiently.

I’ll pick the winners next week. If you win, I’ll review your site and spend an hour on the phone with you, reviewing my recommendations.

In case you’re wondering…

I’ve been doing short reviews for a while as part of this blog. Here’s one:

If I can cover that much ground in 20 minutes, imagine what you can get in 60?
Sign up quick – I’m picking winners in 1 week.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

tags : conversation marketing

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10 Comments

  1. Ian,
    I’m a regular follower of your blog and enjoy the posts. It’s about time this industry had a little humor. Here’s my paragraph about why we’d love the free site review.
    First, we know what we don’t know. We have an understanding of SEO and won’t waste your time with questions like, “How can I be number one in Google for ‘computers’.” Second, we desperately need it! There are only 3 people in my department – 2 working on creating content. We are in a VERY niche market and the competition is on our tail. Plus – it would be fun for you. Our site is super interesting once you dig down into the expert witness profiles and such. Admit it, you always wanted to learn a little about Reproductive Toxicology, Phase Locked Loop, and Percutaneous Coronary Intervention right?
    Thanks in advance!

  2. Why Ian Lurie should review CherryLoop.com
    If flattery and bribery are against the rules, please “delete” this comment so we can rewrite our post.
    Well, when CherryLoop.com was just a twinkle in our eye we purchased a copy of “Web Marketing, All-in One, for Dummies.
    Were we Desperate? Well, yes.
    Are we cheap? Yes, we even got $25.00 worth of free Google Adwords free with purchase.
    Was the book Helpful? Of course it was.
    Have we finished that 3 pound book? Are you kidding me? However, it did save my wife’s life once when she heaved it at her assailant late one night.
    The best thing that book did for us was introduce us to Ian Lurie. We’ve been avid readers of Conversation Marketing, since the day we bought the book. We eagerly await updated posts, and sometimes dread the content because it reminds us of all the work that needs to be done on the site.
    The domain was registered on April 2, 2009. We officially launched CherryLoop.com – Your online figure skating store – on September 25, 2009. Yes, she is brand spanking new. But from idea to a genuine revenue producing business in less than 6 months we feel we are doing pretty well.
    The site needs so much work; we don’t even really know where to begin. Quite frankly, we are still uploading products to the online catalog. Title tags, meta data, copy writing, oh my! That is where Ian Lurie can really help us out. We’ll be working on the site, making changes large and small, and doing everything in our power to drive traffic and sales…but it sure would be nice to have an “expert” give us some sage advice on what we can do soon. It would be nice if the advice also consisted of things we can do on the cheap!
    All of that being said, we think the most important reason why Ian should review CherryLoop.com is because we will send him chocolate this month, chocolate next month, and chocolate the following month, in the mail as a not so subtle bribe.
    So pick us!
    Travis and Robin
    Ian: You can read the post on our blog located here: http://www.cherryloop.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?BlogID=419&PostID=90916
    The “jokes” are a lot funnier if you can click on the links. Feel free to edit, shorten, delete, or simply link to our blog. Consider this content yours to do with as you please.

  3. Is this sort of like Extreme Home Makeover for websites? In that case – you should have folks submit a YouTube video! Whoever has the best worst story wins.

  4. I would love to have someone review my website and make it stand out more as new talent agent in the industry I will do all I can to get my talent working…

  5. Just recently discovered your blog and have quickly become a fan. Love the fact that you use humor to make a point, along with actually having a point!
    I would guess I’m close to your 30,000 hours on the Internet career (does reading blogs count?) so with our combined 60,000 hours we should be able to improve my site.
    I didn’t read the fine print in the rules … are small bribes forbidden??
    Thanks for the chance,
    SPH

  6. 7 Reasons Not to Review My Website:

    1. My website is perfectly fine. After all, I designed it myself!
    2. Also, my Mom told me it looks really nice. She even set it as her homepage.
    3. I already have meta tags!
    4. My SEO firm told me I’m already ranking on the 1st page of Google for 900+ keywords—like “Chair French Dining Mrb7″.
    5. You’re thinking: “Selling high end furniture online is a terrible, terrible idea… why would anyone ever do that?”.
    6. You hate receiving positive—no wait—glowing testimonials!
    7. You would be $500 richer.
  7. Matt

    Hi Ian, I love reading your work, even though (as you’ll understand in a moment) much of the technical stuff is Greek to me. I think you should review my website because 1) it will be extremely easy; 2) I bet I’m the only psychotherapist who follows your site; 3) I think good marketing is interesting and necessary, and I promise to take all your ideas seriously; 4) I could use the help! As for hilarity: Hmm. Well, I love Carol Burnett, the Marx Brothers, the Muppets, Flip Wilson, and Monty Python; by the time you help me out, I’m bound to come up with something.

  8. Hi Ian,
    I’m a fan of your work, ’nuff said :)
    I’m a web developer who’s embarking on my first real attempt to using the skills I’ve got to do something for myself. I’ve got a software product to sell and I’ll be launching a shiny new website in a couple of weeks so I’d love to hear any advice you have for marketing and usability.
    Does this offer include a talking animal picture?

  9. Here’s my one-paragraph submission:
    We launched a new site for The Trillium School, a non-profit private school in Indianola, WA. We love the look-and-feel of the new site, but we need help with information architecture and finding blind spots. We need some concrete principles for how to organize new content when we publish it. We’re passionate about the Sudbury school movement, democratic schooling, and self-guided learning. Help us revolutionize education in America and the world!

  10. I just watched a video of your reviews on WordPress and thought.. “hmmm, interesting…” ;-)
    I appreciated the advice you offered and if I can get a piece of that, that’d be great. Given the rate of speed we both talk, I’m sure we wouldn’t need 60 minutes, so here’s my paragraph.
    Wanted: all-knowing eyes sought to divine the mystical ways we work the web for a recently transplanted professional. “Friends” I have, and they visit, so say the glyphs, but their lack of action drives me to act, to cause them to act. Join this crusade & many will reap the benefits.

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