Internet Marketing Jokes

Internet Marketing

Elizabeth Marsten Mar 4 2010

It was only a matter of time before I broke down and degenerated into making awful puns, dirty jokes and drawing conclusions
where none should be drawn. Without further adieu, I bring to you….very bad internet marketing jokes.

Internet Marketing Relationships

  • We just weren't the same match type.
  • She had too many negative keywords.
  • His crawler is faster than Google's. And not in the good way.
  • The awful ROI on the relationship led to contract termination.
  • The cost per acquisition on my Match.com account is too high. I'm going to give Yahoo Personals a try.
  • That girl has 500 error written all over her.

internet-marketing-jokes.jpg

He 404-ed me. (For when you get stood up.)

  • The title tag didn't match the site content. (The new version of the carpet doesn't match the drapes.)
  • Meta keyword stuffing isn't all she was doing with him.
  • You can try tweaking the algorithm, but some relationships weren't meant to be.
  • You're just not on page 1 for me.
  • I'm sorry, but there's no app to make me less repulsed by you.
  • That was someone I should not have clicked on.
  • He had more hidden text than an episode of Melrose Place.

Internet Marketing Pick Up Lines

  • I did a Google image search for gorgeous with no advanced filters and your picture was the first result.
  • You make me want to optimize myself.
  • I don't want to Twitter, Facebook or email you. I want to CALL you.
  • I checked. The alt text for your picture is “hot damn!”
  • I know where you live. (Thanks Google maps.)
  • We should 301 redirect to my place.
  • We should 302 redirect to my place. (For one night stands only.)
  • I'd re-point my nameservers for you.
  • If I said I liked your Google Dance t-shirt, would you hold it against me?
  • I'd like to link to you.
  • If only there was a Google map to your heart.
  • Let's not fight it anymore. We belong together like Microhoo.
  • If content is king, consider me your queen.
  • I've got an algorithm that includes you, me, some Mountain Dew and an XBox.

And so on. I could go at this all day….you know you want to comment with one of your own. Or check out Search Engine Journal's
Internet Marketing Lightbulb Jokes!

7 Comments

  1. Ian


    I’m paying you guys for this?!
    *Ian reconsiders life plan

  2. Hah! my fav’s gotta be ‘She had too many negative keywords.’

  3. That reminds me- I have an expense report to turn in for some joke books.

  4. Thomas M. Schmitz

    This is part of our AND strategy.

  5. Tracy Beach

    Tracy

    Can we put Ian in the Spam filter?

  6. Chris

    One of the best, yet oddly vulgar, I’ve heard: “Wanna come over to Myspace and Twitter my Yahoo, ’till I Google all over your Facebook?”

  7. Tracy Beach

    Tracy

    How’s about:
    Q: How many Internet Marketers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 3 – One to write a strategy document for the developers. One to draw a diagram for the developers. And one to do it himself after the developers asked for more information.
    and:
    I auto approve your comments.

Comments are closed.