Buy A Wife At Target

Google Adwords and other major pay-per-click providers have a tool called dynamic keywords. It lets you place a variable in your ad, so that the search phrase entered shows up in the ad.

Unfortunately it’s become a tool for lazy PPC marketers, leading to ads like this:

And this:

Please, if you must use dynamic keywords in your ads, at least think it through first. I like my children just fine – I don’t need to buy another one on Amazon or at Target. Honest.

There’s a serious side to this, too: It’s trademark infringement to use a brand name in an ad without permission. If you create an ad and buy a keyword for a competitor, that’s fine. But if you use dynamic keywords in the ad, then your competitor’s name will show up, too. So this:

{keyword:portent} Online

Buy great signs and Portents

On the Interwebs. Free shipping!

Could become this, if you bought ‘nike’ as a keyword:

Nike Online

By great signs and Portents

On the Interwebs. Free Shipping!

You do not want Nike’s lawyers on your doorstep.

PS: If you have any other great instances of dynamic ads gone wrong, let me know. I’ll post ‘em.

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