Buy A Wife At Target

Google Adwords and other major pay-per-click providers have a tool called dynamic keywords. It lets you place a variable in your ad, so that the search phrase entered shows up in the ad.

Unfortunately it’s become a tool for lazy PPC marketers, leading to ads like this:

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And this:

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Please, if you must use dynamic keywords in your ads, at least think it through first. I like my children just fine – I don’t need to buy another one on Amazon or at Target. Honest.

There’s a serious side to this, too: It’s trademark infringement to use a brand name in an ad without permission. If you create an ad and buy a keyword for a competitor, that’s fine. But if you use dynamic keywords in the ad, then your competitor’s name will show up, too. So this:

{keyword:portent} Online

Buy great signs and Portents

On the Interwebs. Free shipping!

Could become this, if you bought ‘nike’ as a keyword:

Nike Online

By great signs and Portents

On the Interwebs. Free Shipping!

You do not want Nike’s lawyers on your doorstep.

PS: If you have any other great instances of dynamic ads gone wrong, let me know. I’ll post ‘em.

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Ian Lurie
/ portentint
Portent's Founder & CEO

Ian Lurie is founder and CEO of Portent Inc., an internet marketing agency that has provided internet marketing, including PPC, SEO, social and analytics services, since 1995. more >

7 Responses to “Buy A Wife At Target”

  1. Tyler - October 5, 2007 at 2:47 pm #

    This site found some funny ones:
    http://www.sabahan.com/2007/02/08/funniest-adwords-ads-weird-things-on-sale/

  2. Adam - October 5, 2007 at 3:34 pm #

    It’s like where eBay appear for everything!

  3. Two Knives - October 5, 2007 at 5:52 pm #

    Um, who says you can’t get a wife at Target?
    http://twoknives.net/?p=81

  4. Matt - October 8, 2007 at 7:02 am #

    But what if they are having a blue light special?? :-D

  5. 5starAffiliatePrograms - October 8, 2007 at 8:23 am #

    I know lots of guys that get their wives at Target. Primarily due to the 30 day money back guarantee and the liberal exchange policy.
    Linda must have still been sleeping when she wrote this. ;-)

  6. Data Entry Company - October 10, 2008 at 5:28 am #

    Oh.. my god… i have also used {keyword: things in my adwords campaigns, thanx for such a nice post, now will check every possibilities of keywords

  7. rishil - October 15, 2008 at 5:21 am #

    Running this today still gives me idiots who havent read your blog Ian… http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=buy+a+wife&start=10&sa=N
    Just in case it gets sorted – here are the ads:
    Buy A Wife
    Find your perfect date today.
    Join us free and start flirting
    http://www.SpeedDaterOnline.co.uk
    Buy a wife
    Niche dating is the hot new trend.
    Meet local singles. 100% join free.
    MeetWomenNetwork.com