10 Comment Habits I Hate

marketing-cretin-comment Featured

Ian Lurie Oct 5 2009

I publish every reasonable (and some unreasonable) comments on my blog. My tolerance for dumbassery is pretty high:
marketing-cretin-comment.gif
But some tooth-grinding commenting habits cause immediate deletion. If you:

  1. Grammar that know sense makes use. I like Yoda and all, but please at least proofread your comment? If I can’t make heads or tails of it, my readers can’t, either, so I’ll delete it. And yes, I make allowances for folks typing English as a second language. But if your name is Bob Smith, check your grammar.
  2. Link to unrelated content. Leave a comment on my post about canonicalization, and include a URL that links to a Cialis landing page. Riiiiiiight. That’s your home page. Not.
  3. Use the name “Godaddy Coupons” or some other search keyword. Either you’re trying to link spam my blog or your parents realllly didn’t like you very much. Either way, deleted.
  4. Leave 10 comments on 10 posts in 1 day. OK, I won’t automatically hit delete, but it sure makes me suspicious. Especially when combined with #3.
  5. Use excessive brevity. If your comment says “Great!” it’s not really contributing much to the conversation. It may give me a brief, happy glow, but I’ll still delete it.
  6. Write forever (aka verbal vomit). The longest comment I’ve ever received? 1200 words. 1200. I do accept guest posts – if you want to send me a 1000+ word essay, use e-mail please.
  7. Get personal. I grew up in New Jersey. I have a very thick skin, and I know every possible insult relating to parentage and biology. So ‘cretin’ isn’t personal. Threaten me, tell me various body parts are too small or remark on my ginormous somewhat oversized nose, though, and I delete. Cynics have feelings too.
  8. Use naughty words. I run a PG-13 blog here. Please keep within the limits Hollywood has imposed. Which means: Use just about anything except a racial epithet or horrific biological descriptions and you’re fine. Yet folks still step over the line. You won’t make me blush, but I will click ‘delete’.
  9. Insert affiliate link in your comment. Why do I even have to write this?
  10. Murder all that is right and known in Internet marketing. You can tell me I’m wrong, debate, argue, etc.. Post something that’s just 100% wrong, though, and I will delete your comment. I am not some squishy “listen to everyone’s point of view” person. I’m a “don’t broadcast stupidity” person.

…then I’ll delete.

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10 Comments

  1. Mike

    Great post….
    (-;

  2. Bill

    After reading your rant I came across this article on twitter, “Tips From the Twitter Elite”. I don’t know why but it really ticked me off.
    The blog reads like a bad Hollywood society column. If you have two minutes check it out.
    If you ever meet this “FC Expert Blogger” slap him upside the head with his keyboard!

  3. FIRST… no wait… SECOND!
    Does anyone actually do that though on this blog? I really don’t see the point of doing it.

  4. I love it (really i do).
    What about praises?
    Sometimes they can be just as sleazy and crappy as plain “Your a dumb f***” comments (PG-13 approved i think).
    I love CM, cause it’s honest, subjective and it’s got an edge – It’s entertaining and it’s got humor…
    I think I’ll label CM as “Entertrainment”.
    Keep it up.
    Soren J ;o)

  5. Susan

    Number two drives me crazy on others’ behalf. I’ll be reading through comments and read one that kinda-sorta addresses the post, but seems suspicious. And then you click and land on a “Make your Millionaire Wishes Come True” page. Ugh. Stop polluting a nice comment-conversation-stream, yanno?

  6. wow… idk why but your list made me lol the entire time i was reading it. There are a lot of spammers out there… thanks for the great read.. and laughs!

  7. Toon

    Nr.10 would be at the top of my list. That, along with a one-word non-comment like ‘great’.

  8. Hi Ian :) :)
    I feel sometimes we have to give an exception to the 5th point because many times our blog friends who are very close to us and are also a loyal visitor , would sometime comment like “Great Post ” or “Nice post” , at that time neither we cant tell them anything nor we can change our self :(
    What would you do in this situation , will you accept the comment or delete it and then later when asked your blog friend to follow the rule ??? :) :)

  9. Ian

    @Sunil I have to say I like it when folks tell me ‘nice job’. The only time it bugs me is when that person’s name happens to be ‘cheap airplane tickets’ :)

  10. @Ian
    Oh then you must hate them and delete them , even i have got so many comments for my blog and it was my biggest mistake that i have approved them :(
    After reading your 10 points i am now preparing a comment policy for my blog :) :)
    Thanks for such useful and frank points :) :)

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