10 ways to make me delete your comment
My post yesterday really stirred some people up. This is a big blind spot for me. I believe anything worth discussion is worth discussing in a civil manner.
BUT, I had to delete a lot of comments. So I figured I’d better explain what’ll make me delete your comment (or Wall post, by the way):
- Anything suggesting biological impossibilities. Sorry, I’m not that limber. And if I was, I wouldn’t stand around while you tried to, er, facilitate. Ew.
- Disrespecting others. Take a pill, rewrite your comment and try again.
- Blatant link mongering. I’ll say it again: There is NO WAY I’ll believe your name is “Buy Levitra.” Your parents weren’t that cruel.
- Really bad writing. If your comment emulates Yoda after a 2-day drinking binge, I assume it’s either machine-written or blatant link mongering. See above.
- It’s a sales pitch. I would love to see your cool new SEO tool. I might even review it. So contact me directly, not via my comments. That means more time spent deleting comments, which eats into my Skyrim time, which makes me extremely grumpy and forces me to take over the Lurie household’s one television during prime time or Saturday morning cartoons. That leads to discontent amongst the natives. Which leads to be being grumpy. And so on.
- You’ve got nothing to say. “Great post!” isn’t a contribution to the conversation. I do really appreciate the compliment. I’m just not going to publish it, sorry. If you really want to make me happy, show how much you love the post by giving it a +1 or a Tweet.
- Trolling. Actually, sometimes I like to play with trolls. I’ll publish your comment and then point out your crappy spelling. If your spelling is perfect, though, I’ll just delete the comment.
- You’re just wrong. I try really hard to reduce confusion in the internet marketing industry. If you write a comment saying “I edited my meta keywords tag and ranked #1!!!!” I may send you questions asking to explain, but I’m not going to publish it. My blog. My rules.
- You’re trying to get free consulting. Nooooo, sorry. I’m not going to help you fix your internet marketing campaign via a blog comment exchange. Please contact my company, Portent, and we’ll get you set up.
- Questioning my parentage. Every detail of the process of bringing me into the world has been explained to me in excruciating detail by both my mother and father, at least 10 times. They were definitely there. Question my sanity instead.