Happy Birthday Evan!

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Portent Staff Jun 3 2010

I work with some of the funniest people around. And when it came time for them to show off their incredible sense of humor, they stepped up.

I give to you, the best birthday card I’ve ever gotten. I think. I have a pretty bad memory of birthday cards, but this one I will never forget.

First up is the cover:

Evan's Birthday Card

In which I replace Stuart Tosh, Pilot’s drummer extraordinaire. This great little joke is due to the fact that I will from time to time start singing the infamous lyrics: It’s Magic, you know! Never believe it’s not so!

Next, the inside:

Evan's Birthday Card

Again, the reference to my musical mastery, surrounded by a plethora of well wishes and witty jokes.

Well-Wish & Witty Joke #1:

Evan's Birthday Card

“I hope you celebrate in High-Flying Style” — Thomas Schmitz

This is hilarious to me because by night, during the crime-fighting hours of the day, Tom goes by the name DJ Major Tom (Bowie anyone?). And of course the obvious, Pilot. But we don’t just go for the cheap laughs around here. Oh no, we reach for the stars…

Well-Wish & Witty Joke #2:

Evan's birthday card

“CHINA! (my fav. trivia answer of all)” – Amanda Halm

As a child I learned very quickly the ancient Vulcan proverb that, “Only Nixon could go to China.” My father loved repeating this joke and soon, so did I. Unfortunately I found little use for the joke as many of the people in my life do not bother to memorize ancient Vulcan proverbs. Now I told you this story;

So I could tell you this story. Every Wednesday night, many of the Portentites go to the Weekly Trivia Night competition at an Italian Restaurant & Bar in West Seattle. One of the few times that I joined in this event, the question came over the PA, “Of what country is it said, “Only Nixon could go to-.”?” Now, correct trivia procedure is to write down your answer and speak quietly among your teammates so that the other teams can’t steal your answer by way of eavesdropping.

If you know me well enough, you know where this story is going. If you don’t, let me remind you of that kid you went to school with who always knew the answer. The one who always had his hand up and always blurted the answer before letting the teacher finish the question? That was me.

So in classic nerd fashion, I belted into the silence of the bar,
“CHIIIINNNNAAAAAA!!!”

Needless to say, I think all the teams got that one right.

Well-Wish & Witty Joke #3:

Evan's Birthday Card

“You know-oh-hooo! Never believe it’s not sooo…” – Michael Wiegand

I truly enjoy belting Magic by Pilot, but no spontaneous burst of the wonderfully classic single of the 80s is complete without the follow-up lyrics and failure to hold pitch. For which I will no doubt never live it down here at Portent. But at least it’s lead to some good ol’ fashion fun.

That’s all for today folks, I’m off to celebrate with some other Fishkin-clan members. If I’m lucky, then a certain family member will be giving me the ring I need to start saying, “With our powers combined, we are: FISH-KIN.”

I’ll post some more Well-Wish & Witty Jokes from the card tomorrow in the thrilling conclusion:

“Evan and the PUN-isher”

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1 Comments

  1. Dr. Pete

    Awesome. Happy birthday, Evan!

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