The Perfect Blog Post

Random

Ian Lurie Jan 5 2009

mona lisa

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

I have strived (striven? striveded?) for years to write the perfect blog post. I think I finally have it. Here goes (ahem):

Introduction involving cute puppy, family member, description of recent travels or new toy.
Synergy. Web 2.0 internet conversations branding. Branding conversations web 2.0 XML hyperlinking dynamic community.
Twitter.

Facebook social media 3.0 mashup, ROI analytics and metrics to leverage marketing. Blogging RSS web 4.0. Dry humor here hahahaha. Google is on a mission to possess our very souls. Yahoo! sucks. Microsoft joke hahahahahahhaha.

Steve Jobs is cool. Guy Kawasaki quote here. Steve Ballmer chair-throwing reference. Reference to 2008 presidential campaign.
Self promotion.

Analogy to current events that is so tenuous it stretches the very fabric of space and time. Unsubstantiated rumors and claims. Obligatory grammar bad. A typo or too.
Web 5.0!. Shining epiphany!

Obligatory List

  • Web 2.0
  • Write great content
  • Join the conversation
  • Be sincere
  • List of 10000 sites you can add your link to

Flattering other bloggers link.
Desperate plea for comments, bookmarks, Stumbles and Diggs.
Attempt at friendly goodbye.
Toodles!

tags : conversation marketing

24 Comments

  1. russell

    non-insightful comment reiterating your entire post. generic complement.

  2. Tracy

    Interesting post. Let’s circle back to the part about synergy. I’d like to touch base on that.

  3. Hilarious, although you left out the truck and the obligatory jail term. Oh wait – this is a post, not a country song. Sorry!

  4. “Steve Ballmer chair-throwing reference.”
    Hey! Bloggers are only taking what Ballmer gives them on a silver platter. All he has to do for us to stop making fun of him is to quit being an idiot.

  5. Can

    Badly writtent flattering comment.. containing lgre number of typos.. Attemplting to show insight and knoledge on the topic.
    followed by visit my blog for more info on the topic. http://www.cankoklu.com which isn’t even remotely related to the post.

  6. Dana

    I have to admit I’m slightly disappointed. This post is lacking the token image of a random animal yelling about some sort of internet marketing issue.

  7. ROFL! Have you been hanging around with Rhodester?
    Oh, and Robyn’s reply reminds me of the last verse of the classic David Allen Coe song “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” aka “The perfect country and western song”:
    “I was drunk the day my mama got out of prison.
    So I went to pick her up in the rain.
    But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck.
    She got run over by a %&@#&*@ old train…”

  8. Looking forward to watching the search engines implode on this one!
    Thanks for the funny Ian.

  9. Have you considered recycled comment from above that I didn’t bother to read?
    Also, my company offers a solution to this very issue (not really, but please leave the link).

  10. Stumbled, Dugg, Tweeted, RT’d, Requested other RT’s, Sphunn, FB’d and Blog Comment Spammed.
    This post is so effing awesome that I have re-purposed and packaged in an e-book that I am selling on 360SELL.com (home of the preeminent original sales improvement consulting organization, International), entitled “How to Write The Perfect Blog Post”, although you cannot sue me for plagiarism, since I have referenced Web 5.1 and therefore improved upon your original.
    Besides, I will now move to China, India or Eastern Europe – so good luck in trying to stop me!

  11. Awesome – I love you and want to man you manwife.

  12. Ian

    @Stuart sorry I’m already taken. All the good ones are either married or straight…

  13. You forgot to give your post a “Top Whatever List of Things You Should be Doing” title.

  14. Gregg

    Reply just long enough to know I read at least the first line and conclusion so people don’t think I’m too desperate to links back to my site from my now highlighted (highlit,highlited), underlined SEO name.

  15. Loved it. Been trying to write something that conveyed the same sentiments without success. Wrote an article about it on my freelance writing site at arcticllama.com/blog.

  16. Absolutely brilliant. Best time I’ve had reading a blog post in the past 2 minutes.

  17. Hahah! wow…
    I have to say I’m cracking up right now!
    that’s great!
    ohh wow… you made my day!
    David King

  18. lol… hahaha web 2.0 yahoo sucks.. great stuff!

  19. Very funny post. Congratulations, with just a few words you bring this ‘blogging’ in the right perspective.

  20. clavier arabe

    Absolutely brilliant. Best time I’ve had reading a blog post in the past 2 minutes.
    .

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