9 reasons to go black hat

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Ian Lurie Oct 28 2011

Go black hat. What's the worst that can happen?

Go black hat. What's the worst that can happen?

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.

Going black hat. It’s so tempting. You put in all this time researching SEO. You know as much about the algorithms as anyone. You watch competitors zip past you and you just know they’re cheating. How else could they zip past you*?

*I dunno… Maybe because they actually do what their SEOs tell them. Or they write original content. Or their site runs slightly better than the bloated, slow-running, visit-repelling Greek tragedy you call a ‘web presence’. But I digress.

Go for it! Here are ten fantastic reasons to throw Google’s Terms of Service into a shredder:

  1. The search engines are big meanies. You’re gonna show them.
  2. You have a garage full of Viagra to sell by tomorrow night. If you don’t, the local penis mafia is going to hunt you down, so you’ll be dead anyway.
  3. You won $30 million in the Lottery. What the heck? Go for it.
  4. Your SEO agency says they have a special relationship with Google, and they can bail you out. Also, they have special magical, rainbow-farting unicorns.
  5. You can get away with it, ’cause you’re smarter than all the engineers at Google, Bing, Blekko and every information retrieval genius in the Northern Hemisphere.
  6. You suck at business. You want to go into a lively career sorting tobacco leaves by size and color.
  7. You’re entering the FBI witness protection program.
  8. You just saw the new Thundercats Movie, and it sucked out your will to live.
  9. You only read the first two paragraphs of this post.

My point: While there’s nothing evil about black hat SEO, and it can even serve a purpose, it is not a long-term business strategy.

tags : conversation marketing

15 Comments

  1. You had me at Penis Mafia.

  2. Haha nice one :-)
    Can you make one for the firm doing the black-hat where the clients don’t know much about that SEO stuff and therefore hired some of those professionels…

  3. Great post man love the last one. Wonder how many people will read the first and not finish. lol’s

  4. Joris

    Made me laugh!

  5. Funny post for a split secong I thought you were being serious. I believe there is a very fine line between white and black hat and im sure all of us have done things in the past that somebody would consider BH.

  6. Haha! This is great! Thank you for your wit :)

  7. Hilarious. Sorry, that’s all I have to say about that.

  8. I felt so proud when I made it to no. 9 and I actually HAD read the whole thing. That aside, point well made. Thanks!

  9. Julie

    LOL brilliant! #2 was funny, man.

  10. Tim

    Simply perfect! I thought you were serious when I saw the tweet. Having read it I understand where you’re coming from.

    I was hoping to see you speak at PubCon Vegas but I don’t see you on the list. Maybe next year.

  11. There’s a local penis mafia? Steal from them and I have a feeling they’ll chop off your “finger”

  12. What is black hat these days? I see a lot of “reputable” SEOs doing blog spam with SEnuke, etc.

    thoughts?

    • Ian Lurie

      ian

      Anything that violates the search engines’ TOS is potentially black hat.

  13. I love this post – especially #4 which made me laugh so hard I almost went #1

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