Random encounter table for SEO

Just when you thought it couldn't get nerdier.
(In case you’re wondering, ‘percentile die’ let you roll any number from 1-100.)
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Explanation
In most role-playing games (think Dungeons & Dragons), there are these things called random encounters. Every now and then, a die roll determines whether you get eaten by a troll, stomped by a royally ticked-off giant, or accosted by pixies.
Hey. Don’t laugh. Pixies are scary.
Somewhere along the way in my lengthy gaming career, I realized that life is actually a long series of random encounters. 15 or so years in SEO has proved it, beyond all doubt. Hence, the table you see above.
Tomorrow: Actual learning. Serious stuff. No more silliness. Honest.

Portent's Founder & CEO
Ian Lurie is founder and CEO of Portent Inc., an internet marketing agency that has provided internet marketing, including PPC, SEO, social and analytics services, since 1995. more >


As somebody who appreciates a clever balance between wit and stinging sarcasm, and based on posts like this, it seems you stand to become a noted satirist, should you have the (questionable?) desire to take on a side job of comedy writing.
Now to just deal with those pesky clients…