Internet Marketing

10 Best Subject Lines Of the Week

I’ve decided to start a new segment: 10 best e-mail marketing subject lines of the week.
It’s completely sarcastic, by the way. I’m sure you’re shocked.
This may be a one-time segment, depending on response, so enjoy:

  1. Bring business directly to you, online! I’ve never heard that one before.
  2. What time is okay for you. First rule of e-mail marketing: Be specific. This subject line is, er, very… Never mind.
  3. Meet CMO’s who are ready to buy. The company that keeps sending me this crap, and calling me to ‘follow up on my request’, is the biggest bunch of sleezebag loser on the planet. Any moron knows the average CMO’s tenure is about 6 months. They’re never ready to buy, because they’re too busy printing their resumes.
  4. What you’re doing wrong. Wow, way to start on a positive note.
  5. Break your customers’ will! Mwahahahahahaha then I can conquer the WORLD.
  6. Prices can’t be lower. Unless you’re giving stuff away, you’re lying.
  7. Leverage your marketing power even further! Or, use fewer buzzwords!
  8. Ticketmaster… There’s more after that, but I stop at ‘Ticketmaster’, since they’re closely related to Satan.
  9. Adwords Riches! I called them three times, gave them my social security number, yet I’m still not rich…
  10. Valentine’s Day Special! This was actually from a reputable company. But they cloaked their e-mail address and didn’t specify what the special was, so I didn’t even open the e-mail.

Don’t Be Like Them

Make sure your e-mail marketing pieces use clear subject lines.
Make sure the subject lines include a compelling call to action.
And make sure you don’t end up on my list.
(don’t forget to vote for me in the Semmys)

SEO Copywriting eBook
CEO & Founder

Ian Lurie is CEO and founder of Portent and the EVP of Marketing Services at Clearlink. He's been a digital marketer since the days of AOL and Compuserve (25 years, if you're counting). He's recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and has been published on AllThingsD, Smashing Magazine, and TechCrunch. Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove, MozCon, Seattle Interactive Conference and ad:Tech. He has published has published several books about business and marketing: One Trick Ponies Get Shot, available on Kindle, The Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and Conversation Marketing. Follow him on Twitter at portentint, and on LinkedIn at LinkedIn.com/in/ianlurie.

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Comments

  1. Hi Ian,
    I don’t think that **compelling** email headers do much for personally. I think that if I have a connection with the person or like the person or company OR want something from that person or company, then they could make a headline like “just saying hello” and I would open it.
    Now maybe I am not like everyone but I can’t see why most wouldn’t follow this as well.
    Just my thoughts anyway.

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