3 Signs The Pitch is Slimey

Ian Lurie

Dirty water stems from the pipe
I spent the day today looking at pitch pieces by a few internet marketing ‘experts’.
Now I feel dirty.

But, in the interest of promoting knowledge, here I am, passing along knowledge gained at the expense of my appetite. There were a few selling strategies that all of the pitches had in common. So, here are three signs you should steer clear of a company or expert:

  1. They promote a Secret Recipe for Great Success. “The only reason no one else has used our secret method is because they’re all too stupid! Yes, learn from us and we’ll show you the path to easy internet riches!!!!” Riiiiigghhht. If there were an easy secret recipe, I would’ve hired them and learned it by now. Then I could stop writing this blog and sell chocolate online for millions of dollars.
  2. They tout a special relationship with Google, and say they can leverage that relationship for better rankings. Sorry, if you believe this one you get what you deserve. Google isn’t worth billions of dollars because they tweak rankings at the behest of Joe’s Search Emporium.
  3. They claim they can do internet marketing using some fully automated software tool set, thereby Saving You A Jillion Dollars. Um. Marketing requires thought. Thought about personas, audience, great copy, messaging, etc.. And, much as my geekness swoons at the thought of thinking computers, we ain’t there yet. A computer can’t run a marketing campaign.

There’s more – feel free to add your own tips below:

Ian Lurie

Ian Lurie is the founder of Portent. He's been a digital marketer since the days of AOL and Compuserve (25 years, if you're counting). Ian's recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and has been published on AllThingsD, Smashing Magazine, and TechCrunch. Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove, MozCon, Seattle Interactive Conference and ad:Tech. He has published several books about business and marketing: One Trick Ponies Get Shot, available on Kindle, The Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and Conversation Marketing. Ian is now an independent consultant and continues to work with the Portent team- training the agency group on all things digital. You can find him at www.ianlurie.com

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