Internet Marketing Jokes

It was only a matter of time before I broke down and degenerated into making awful puns, dirty jokes and drawing conclusions
where none should be drawn. Without further adieu, I bring to you….very bad internet marketing jokes.

Internet Marketing Relationships

  • We just weren't the same match type.
  • She had too many negative keywords.
  • His crawler is faster than Google's. And not in the good way.
  • The awful ROI on the relationship led to contract termination.
  • The cost per acquisition on my account is too high. I'm going to give Yahoo Personals a try.
  • That girl has 500 error written all over her.


He 404-ed me. (For when you get stood up.)

  • The title tag didn't match the site content. (The new version of the carpet doesn't match the drapes.)
  • Meta keyword stuffing isn't all she was doing with him.
  • You can try tweaking the algorithm, but some relationships weren't meant to be.
  • You're just not on page 1 for me.
  • I'm sorry, but there's no app to make me less repulsed by you.
  • That was someone I should not have clicked on.
  • He had more hidden text than an episode of Melrose Place.

Internet Marketing Pick Up Lines

  • I did a Google image search for gorgeous with no advanced filters and your picture was the first result.
  • You make me want to optimize myself.
  • I don't want to Twitter, Facebook or email you. I want to CALL you.
  • I checked. The alt text for your picture is “hot damn!”
  • I know where you live. (Thanks Google maps.)
  • We should 301 redirect to my place.
  • We should 302 redirect to my place. (For one night stands only.)
  • I'd re-point my nameservers for you.
  • If I said I liked your Google Dance t-shirt, would you hold it against me?
  • I'd like to link to you.
  • If only there was a Google map to your heart.
  • Let's not fight it anymore. We belong together like Microhoo.
  • If content is king, consider me your queen.
  • I've got an algorithm that includes you, me, some Mountain Dew and an XBox.

And so on. I could go at this all day….you know you want to comment with one of your own. Or check out Search Engine Journal's
Internet Marketing Lightbulb Jokes!

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  1. One of the best, yet oddly vulgar, I’ve heard: “Wanna come over to Myspace and Twitter my Yahoo, ’till I Google all over your Facebook?”

  2. How’s about:
    Q: How many Internet Marketers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 3 – One to write a strategy document for the developers. One to draw a diagram for the developers. And one to do it himself after the developers asked for more information.
    I auto approve your comments.

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