I realized at about 1 AM that I’m so routinely full of crap that there was pretty much no way anyone would believe any April Fools joke I tried. I did have a lot of ideas, though:
- Redirect my site to someone like The Internet Shark, because I’m such an admirer. He, after all, does have The System That Makes Bank On Google.
- Announce that I’m quitting Portent Interactive and Conversation Marketing to become a cat farmer. I decided that was too believable, and tabled it.
- Send out a press release announcing we’d been acquired by Ogilvy. But I got a B- in law school, and Ogilvy undoubtedly has the attorneys who got A’s, so I ruled that one out.
- Tell the world I’m the first male pregnancy in history, and that I had to be hospitalized for 9 months. Too outlandish.
- Let you know that I’ve been given a huge book contract to write a work of fiction about the internet marketing industry titled “Bonfire of Insanity”. Also too outlandish.
- Announce that I had cracked the Yahoo! code, and could now make thousands overnight using a secret formula.
- Inform my loyal readers that my blog was being acquired by the Huffington Post.
- Change my political affiliation to Republican. Also too outlandish. My family would probably have me committed – no one as sarcastic as me can be a Republican.
- Tell everyone I won a Fisker Karma in a raffle. God, I wish.
- Cry triumphantly that Target actually did some SEO on their site, because their IT department realized how important it is to the company’s well-being, and because their CMO realized that a 5% increase in online revenue more than paid for the five hours’ work required to make basic changes to the site.
That was when I realized I was too sleep-deprived, gave up, and went to sleep.