11 Reasons for Twitter Heartgate

Ian Lurie Nov 4 2015

starshearts

I’m jumping on the bandwagon. I’m surfing the trend. I’m grubbing for 15 seconds of fame by reporting the biggest news of the last 24 hours:

Twitter is replacing stars with hearts

But I’m different. I’m… special. My spies have the inside story. And they brought back 11 possible reasons for this bold change of direction by the big ‘T:’

  1. Thanks, Obama
  2. Any engagement is better than none, even if it’s me vomiting all over my screen
  3. The Twitter team got tired of typing “favourite” in the UK
  4. Someone thought the CEO was serious
  5. They hired GAP’s branding agency to redo their interface
  6. Twitter is cost-cutting. Hearts are cheaper than stars
  7. A study showed people with hearts in their chests live longer
  8. Red generates higher conversion rates, and hearts are red
  9. Because Unicode (which I’ve never, ever figured out in 10 years screwing around with Python)
  10. Republicans accused Twitter of liberal media bias after they realized they could never get better than a 1-star review (sorry guys, just own this one)
  11. Lucky Charms rock

Bonus round: Jack Dorsey lost a bet with Mark Zuckerberg

If you’re at Twitter, this may feel a bit mean. Just close your eyes and repeat after me: “I have $500m revenue. Ian does not.”

Don’t you feel better?

6 Comments

  1. Love the article Ian, some interesting data and theories. Assuming reason #11 is accurate, can we reasonably expect Twitter to change the Heart to a Rainbow?!? Or a Half-moon?!?!

    I’m afraid this post just raises even more important questions and mysteries…

    • See above – definitely Illuminati symbols.

  2. Huge opportunity for a subtle acrostic missed. Still laughed though. Keep up the good work.

    Also, I really hate the hearts. Does anyone like them?

    • I’m thinking a triangle with an eye at the top. Or is that Google?

      • Yep, definitely Google.

        My theory is Twitter goes for hearts because nobody loves them.

  3. Mike

    Mike

    I definitely think it’s a strange move. EVERYONE uses hearts and EVERYONE uses the term “Like”. Why make a change to be more similar to everyone else? I’d definitely be interested to hear the real reason for the change, assuming it’s not completely arbitrary.

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