9 Internet Marketing Questions I Just Can’t Answer

Ian Lurie Mar 6 2008

The last six weeks have sucked. Aside from SMX West, which was a nice, positive interlude, I’ve been dragging my rotting remains across a rocky, jagged waste filled with people who say things like “Your daughter just threw up again” and “Can you get me a breakdown of your hours for the last 5 months?”.
In that theme, I’ve written down 9 internet marketing questions that even God probably can’t answer:

  1. Why are the Google rankings jumping up and down like my son on a sugar rush? Over the last few weeks, I’ve seen sites moving up 10 spots and then down again, then up again, all in the course of a few hours. And it’s been constant. Matt, what’s the deal?
  2. Why does spam still work? I’m still getting 2,000-3,000 messages a day hawking ED remedies, breast augmentation vitamins, investment schemes and Jewish brisket (my favorite). Are folks really still biting on these offers?
  3. Why won’t Ask.com just do us a favor and die? It’s just one more algorithm we have to figure out. I love the engine, I love the technology, but they’re outmatched by Microsoft, who’s planning to buy the planet Earth next year in order to get all the smart employees working there.
  4. Can’t we come up with a better link baiting tactic than “Write great content that people want”? Or at least stop repeating ourselves?
  5. Am I the only internet marketing professional who has dysfunctional enterprise clients (who I love anyway)? From what I heard at SMX West, I may be. The session on industrial strength SEO made me think so, anyway. “Make SEO a cultural imperative”. Riiiiiggghhhhtttt…
  6. Why do people still think it’s a good idea to force the IT department to run the web site?
  7. Does Google really think that video ads are a good idea? If I’m scanning a search results page, there’s just no way I’m going to sit and wait for a video to load.
  8. Does Microsoft really think that acquiring Yahoo! will help them? Both companies have great people, cool products and decent market share. But merging the two will look like two galaxies colliding: Spectacular from a distance, catastrophic if you’re in the neighborhood.
  9. Why is internet marketing still considered a technical field, not a creative one? Every treats me like a geek. Just once, I want to be treated like the quirky creative guy.

OK, I’m done. Tomorrow’s post will be more useful, I swear.

tags : conversation marketing

6 Comments

  1. Ian is it possible to change #4 to “Can’t we come up with a better link baiting tactic and stop reguritating the rest of them…” :) Good post.

  2. I really like this phrase of #9: “Spectacular from a distance, catastrophic if you’re in the neighborhood”. Clever!

  3. #7- Even better, InVideo Overlay ads, so that the user clicks away from the video into another video about Fords and BMWs.

  4. I’ve had this stored on my Instapaper trying to figure out how to make it a meme…or is that the 10th internet marketing thing you can’t figure out?

  5. I’ll stop repeating number 4 when people start doing it… :D

  6. Tracy Beach

    Tracy Beach

    But you totally are a geek!

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