Dreaming About Internet Marketing

Ian Lurie

ImNotADoctor asks if I ever dream about SEO.

The Scream

Definitely not.

However, I do dream, all too often, about internet marketing. Usually the dream goes like this:

I wake up at 11 AM, realizing I’ve overslept. I jump in my car, frantic, trying to get to the office. But I keep getting lost. I try to dial the office on my cell phone but I continuously enter the wrong phone number:
2065753741 damn
2065732712 argh
2065753746 AUGH!

In the mean time, traffic races by me in a blur.

I finally get to Portent. My staff are all there, of course. They look at me a bit oddly as I come in 4 hours late. I run to my office, fling myself into my chair, and then realize my office is full of clients. Everything’s gone wrong! Google dumped them all, their return on investment calculations for the last 2 years have all been wrong, I’ve cost them millions, their families will be on the street, and do I realize I’m wearing my pajamas?

I look down and realize that yes, indeed, I’m wearing the comfy flannel pajamas covered with some absurdly cute character. My clients introduce me to their new attorney, who’s going to sue me for fifteen consecutive public whippings. Then my mother appears to tell me I should’ve just gone and practiced law.

Carl Kasell is there doing play-by-play as my angry clients pick out which furniture they’re taking home with them…

After that, I wake up, bolt upright in a cold sweat.

So I’d say that we’re all equally insane to be in this business. It’s a brand new industry. We’re having to educate clients, analysts and everyone else, while trying to earn a living. Who wouldn’t have a nightmare or two?

I’ll pass along the tag now: Rand, Chris, how about you guys? Don’t leave me hanging out here, alone in my insanity…

Ian Lurie

Ian Lurie is the founder of Portent. He's been a digital marketer since the days of AOL and Compuserve (25 years, if you're counting). Ian's recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and has been published on AllThingsD, Smashing Magazine, and TechCrunch. Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove, MozCon, Seattle Interactive Conference and ad:Tech. He has published several books about business and marketing: One Trick Ponies Get Shot, available on Kindle, The Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and Conversation Marketing. Ian is now an independent consultant and continues to work with the Portent team- training the agency group on all things digital. You can find him at www.ianlurie.com

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  1. Sometimes I dream about a qwerty keyboard. Just sort of typing on it. But mostly my dreams involve either my teeth falling out or perpetually missing an early morning college class. WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEEAN

  2. Seriously, though… have you ever heard of an SEO being sued by an individual or company because of loss of rankings or failure to achieve rankings?

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