Random

My weirdest referring keywords

Yeahhhh I have no idea what to blog tonight. But I happened to take a peek at my referring keywords report in Google Analytics. Here are the weirdest of the bunch:

  • Monster trucks. I know the post that draws the traffic, but how the hell do I still rank for this phrase?
  • Snidely Whiplash. Again, I know the post. It’s just weird, is all.
  • Hobbits. I’m too tall for this.
  • Lemming. 47 clicks in 30 days.
  • Dr evil mini me. 31 clicks.
  • Sarah Palin hot. God save me.
  • Ass 18. God save all of us.
  • Porn keywords. Actually, just put us all out of our misery.
  • Nude scenes on the net. …
  • Ian carrot. Make it stop oh please what are these people thinking?
  • Lederhosen wedgie. At this point, I stopped, afraid of what else I’d find.

Update: OK, I lied. The home run of weird was someone finding my site with this phrase: “i nominate tunafish. if that’s a word then i’d like to order a chickenbird sandwich or a steakcow with a baked potato.”
Seriously?
Another update: Now I can’t stop. I’m finding stuff like “beware networt”, “can a gun make your head explode”, “how to tie an inchworm” and “donkeyf —k”. Bwah? There are more, but I can’t type them without getting embarrassed.
Another another update (I’m going to be up all night I can tell): “marketing finger polish”, “spastic squirrel”
My advice: Don’t review your referring keyword list below #100 or so. You’ll be up all freaking night giggling insanely.
I promise, tomorrow I’ll have something more, er, useful.

CEO & Founder

Ian Lurie is CEO and founder of Portent and the EVP of Marketing Services at Clearlink. He's been a digital marketer since the days of AOL and Compuserve (25 years, if you're counting). He's recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and has been published on AllThingsD, Smashing Magazine, and TechCrunch. Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove, MozCon, Seattle Interactive Conference and ad:Tech. He has published several books about business and marketing: One Trick Ponies Get Shot, available on Kindle, The Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and Conversation Marketing. Follow him on Twitter at portentint, and on LinkedIn at LinkedIn.com/in/ianlurie.

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Comments

  1. My favorite is when a client fixates on these words as if they were the most important thing for them to spend all of their time worrying about. Forget the words that perform, drive traffic and make money, “I want to talk about why I rank for these words and what you can do to change it.” Sometimes its better if they don’t know All of the words they rank for.

  2. Ha, ha, ha, this had me crackin’ up, it does make you wonder sometimes though when we tell our clients the importance of keywords then they get clicks for things like tuna fish sandwich… that’s just bonus, don’t worry about it.

  3. But you do know that you can fake referrals to whatever you want? And than feed Google Analytics with this all the time? So say, someone writes “Lemming” as a fake-referral than visits your site few times through google and bang… you got weird results. 🙂

  4. This is hilarious! It just amazes me what people will search for. You try hard to get just that perfect keyword for your business, and then people search for things like this. How to tie an inch worm, REALLY!
    Thanks for making me laugh today.

  5. I like to use my weird keyword searches as an “automatic viral idea generator”.
    What you have learnt is that somewhere on the web there is an audience for Lederhosen Wedgies – build the blog of this and they* will come!
    (* at least one weirdo)

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