U-Haul: Fire Your Lawyer (and Your Marketer)

Ian Lurie

Sarah over at SEOMOZ outlined U-Haul’s ridiculous case against someone who outranks them.
I won’t re-evaluate the case. Sarah undoubtedly got higher grades than I did in Intellectual Property, which was one of the law courses that made me become a marketer.
Instead, I’ll say this:
U-Haul, fire your lawyer.
Only a total moron or someone with severe oxygen narcosis would think, first of all, that you could defend a trademark on ‘moving help’ and ‘moving helper’.
And only a member of the Headless Hunt would think companies can’t use trademarked terms of other companies in competitive marketing. Otherwise, ‘Ford’ could never say “We are better than Chevy”.

Unless, of course, you’re doing this to just wear down a smaller competitor. Which would be unethical. And you’d never do that. Would you?

Then fire your marketer.
Only a total, unqualified hack of a marketer would let something like this happen:
…while you spend $500/hour on corporate attorneys should be fired at least, or drawn and quartered at most.
If you want to be top ranked for a phrase like ‘moving helper’, try having that phrase in your title tag (see the next paragraph) and not redirecting to a different page.
And get rid of the ® in the title tag. That’s affecting your relevance, I’ll bet.

If you don’t know what that means, well, hire someone who does. It’s early, I was up at 3 AM because of 3 raccoons playing in a puddle under my window (seriously) and I’m not in the mood. Geez. I sound like Michael Martinez (kidding Michael).

Consider using marketing, instead of lawyers, to win your marketing battles.
Oh, and one last thing: Hireahelper, here’s a nice keyword-rich link to your site – moving help by hire a helper. Suck on that, U-Haul.

Ian Lurie
CEO & Founder

Ian Lurie is CEO and founder of Portent and the EVP of Marketing Services at Clearlink. He's been a digital marketer since the days of AOL and Compuserve (25 years, if you're counting). He's recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and has been published on AllThingsD, Smashing Magazine, and TechCrunch. Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove, MozCon, Seattle Interactive Conference and ad:Tech. He has published several books about business and marketing: One Trick Ponies Get Shot, available on Kindle, The Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and Conversation Marketing. Follow him on Twitter at portentint, and on LinkedIn at LinkedIn.com/in/ianlurie.

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