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The Life of Pi Part III

It’s been awhile since we’ve checked in on the internal workings of Portent’s Smith Tower headquarters, and I figure it’s about time since we have some pretty exciting news to announce.

The very first winner of the Best Section in the Portent Office has been selected and it’s none other than… The Southeast Corner, aka The Southies! This section includes the Content and Social Team, Isla, Sara, and myself, as well as the PPC super team of Michael, Ryan, Chad, Kiko, and Tim, and an added bonus of two of Portent’s finest Account Strategists, Stephanie and Kimberly.

I spoke with a few of the Southies to see how they are handling their victory. Senior Content Strategist Isla McKetta replied:

“Well, we’re really not surprised considering we didn’t inform anyone outside of our section about the voting. That decision seems to have really worked in our favor,” she said. “Now, if you excuse me, I need to finish creating this Survey Monkey which I’m going to send just to myself. I think it’s time we elect someone Portent Employee of the Year.”

Kiko Correa, PPC Strategist, chimed in:

“We really have deserved an honor like this ever since we survived being bombed (threatened, erroneously),” referring to an incident in which the Southies banded together at the windows and watched with bated breath as a bomb-defusing robot dismantled what turned out to be a harmless backpack left out on the sidewalk. Those were some particularly tense and harrowing moments.

Michael Wiegand, Senior PPC Strategist and Portent’s resident Google Analytics Whisperer added in:

“Really, this win is about the incredible people in this section. My PPC homies aren’t just wicked smart, they’re also a total hoot to be around. Stephanie, Sara, Kimberly, Isla… it’s just great to sit in a spot at work with such a talented and diverse group of people. Of course, like every town, even the Southie’s have their proverbial ramshackle house with a broke-down Thunderbird rusting out on the front lawn.” When pressed for more on what he meant, Michael clammed up, but stared silently in the direction of my cubicle.

I was also curious to find out what the slightly-less-good seating areas thought about the Southies’ victory. George Freitag, SEO Strategist and a longtime denizen of South Central Portent, seems to be taking his section’s defeat in stride:

“The Southies really are a great group of co-workers. They are totally worthy of this award. I oftentimes find myself pretending to get coffee just so I can take a stroll past their desks. Sometimes one of them will look up and wave to me.”

As of print time, we’re still waiting for a response from the Isle of Katie’s sole inhabitant, Marketing Manager Katie Fetting. In what is perhaps the only downside of her otherwise pretty cool habit of sending all communications via floating glass bottles, they sometimes veer off of course and end up swirling around in the whirlpools over by the Creatives’ Corner of Creativity.

One final note, the Southies weren’t the only Portenters to win an award recently. Ariana Burgess, Account Strategist extraordinaire was recognized by her fellow Shannon’s Hollow dwellers as having the “Sunniest Smile in the Hollow.” She brought in some delicious chocolate cupcakes to celebrate. Alexander Nessel, a fellow Account Strategist in the northern wilds of the Hollow, ate six of them.

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