The Perfect Blog Post

Ian Lurie
mona lisa
mona lisa

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

I have strived (striven? striveded?) for years to write the perfect blog post. I think I finally have it. Here goes (ahem):

Introduction involving cute puppy, family member, description of recent travels or new toy.
Synergy. Web 2.0 internet conversations branding. Branding conversations web 2.0 XML hyperlinking dynamic community.

Facebook social media 3.0 mashup, ROI analytics and metrics to leverage marketing. Blogging RSS web 4.0. Dry humor here hahahaha. Google is on a mission to possess our very souls. Yahoo! sucks. Microsoft joke hahahahahahhaha.

Steve Jobs is cool. Guy Kawasaki quote here. Steve Ballmer chair-throwing reference. Reference to 2008 presidential campaign.
Self promotion.

Analogy to current events that is so tenuous it stretches the very fabric of space and time. Unsubstantiated rumors and claims. Obligatory grammar bad. A typo or too.
Web 5.0!. Shining epiphany!

Obligatory List

  • Web 2.0
  • Write great content
  • Join the conversation
  • Be sincere
  • List of 10000 sites you can add your link to

Flattering other bloggers link.
Desperate plea for comments, bookmarks, Stumbles and Diggs.
Attempt at friendly goodbye.

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  1. “Steve Ballmer chair-throwing reference.”
    Hey! Bloggers are only taking what Ballmer gives them on a silver platter. All he has to do for us to stop making fun of him is to quit being an idiot.

  2. Badly writtent flattering comment.. containing lgre number of typos.. Attemplting to show insight and knoledge on the topic.
    followed by visit my blog for more info on the topic. which isn’t even remotely related to the post.

  3. I have to admit I’m slightly disappointed. This post is lacking the token image of a random animal yelling about some sort of internet marketing issue.

  4. ROFL! Have you been hanging around with Rhodester?
    Oh, and Robyn’s reply reminds me of the last verse of the classic David Allen Coe song “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” aka “The perfect country and western song”:
    “I was drunk the day my mama got out of prison.
    So I went to pick her up in the rain.
    But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck.
    She got run over by a %&@#&*@ old train…”

  5. Have you considered recycled comment from above that I didn’t bother to read?
    Also, my company offers a solution to this very issue (not really, but please leave the link).

  6. Stumbled, Dugg, Tweeted, RT’d, Requested other RT’s, Sphunn, FB’d and Blog Comment Spammed.
    This post is so effing awesome that I have re-purposed and packaged in an e-book that I am selling on (home of the preeminent original sales improvement consulting organization, International), entitled “How to Write The Perfect Blog Post”, although you cannot sue me for plagiarism, since I have referenced Web 5.1 and therefore improved upon your original.
    Besides, I will now move to China, India or Eastern Europe – so good luck in trying to stop me!

  7. Reply just long enough to know I read at least the first line and conclusion so people don’t think I’m too desperate to links back to my site from my now highlighted (highlit,highlited), underlined SEO name.

  8. Absolutely brilliant. Best time I’ve had reading a blog post in the past 2 minutes.

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