9 Things I'm Not Allowed to Say

Ian Lurie
  1. I don’t know.
  2. I can’t measure that.
  3. I’ve blogged angry (duh).
  4. I buy links. NO, NO I DON’T! I DON’T!
  5. I’ve used nofollow.
  6. I use tables when I can’t get divs to work.
  7. I’ve used Web 2.0 button generators.
  8. I tried to make money selling Acai Supplements. After feeling dirty, I gave up.
  9. I can’t predict the ROI.

Bonus Round

  1. I use the phrase “social media” regularly (I lick 9-volts to atone).
  2. Your popular idea is dumb.
  3. Your unpopular idea is fantastic.
  4. You did everything right. It just didn’t work.
  5. We did everything right. It just didn’t work.
Ian Lurie

Ian Lurie is the founder of Portent. He's been a digital marketer since the days of AOL and Compuserve (that's more than 25 years, if you're counting). Ian's recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and has been published on AllThingsD, Smashing Magazine, and TechCrunch. Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove, MozCon, Seattle Interactive Conference and ad:Tech. He has published several books about business and marketing: One Trick Ponies Get Shot, available on Kindle, The Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and Conversation Marketing. Ian is now an independent consultant and continues to work with the Portent team, training the agency group on all things digital. You can find him at www.ianlurie.com

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  1. LOL these are great. I’m so tempted to go out and get some Web 2.0 buttons now.
    Also, on the topic of things not working… I’m sure that kills you to have to tell a client that something didn’t work that really should have.

  2. Wait…you mean we aren’t using tables any more? That’s like taking away my diet coke. I won’t survive!
    Ian – you always make me laugh, especially the battery atonement.

  3. Heh – thank you for the list Ian. Awesome. Now I know I’m not alone.
    Shhh… and don’t tell people I copied good codes from one project to another too. Let them think I’m a genius and coded everything from scratch all the time. Makes me look more hardworking. 😀

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