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Random encounter table for SEO

SEO random encounter table - surrender now, human
Just when you thought it couldn't get nerdier.

(In case you’re wondering, ‘percentile die’ let you roll any number from 1-100.)

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Explanation

In most role-playing games (think Dungeons & Dragons), there are these things called random encounters. Every now and then, a die roll determines whether you get eaten by a troll, stomped by a royally ticked-off giant, or accosted by pixies.

Hey. Don’t laugh. Pixies are scary.

Somewhere along the way in my lengthy gaming career, I realized that life is actually a long series of random encounters. 15 or so years in SEO has proved it, beyond all doubt. Hence, the table you see above.

Tomorrow: Actual learning. Serious stuff. No more silliness. Honest.

CEO & Founder

Ian Lurie is CEO and founder of Portent and the EVP of Marketing Services at Clearlink. He's been a digital marketer since the days of AOL and Compuserve (25 years, if you're counting). He's recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and has been published on AllThingsD, Smashing Magazine, and TechCrunch. Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove, MozCon, Seattle Interactive Conference and ad:Tech. He has published several books about business and marketing: One Trick Ponies Get Shot, available on Kindle, The Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and Conversation Marketing. Follow him on Twitter at portentint, and on LinkedIn at LinkedIn.com/in/ianlurie.

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Comments

  1. As somebody who appreciates a clever balance between wit and stinging sarcasm, and based on posts like this, it seems you stand to become a noted satirist, should you have the (questionable?) desire to take on a side job of comedy writing.
    Now to just deal with those pesky clients…

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